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In Defense of My Pants

Oh hey everyone. I am wondering, what is your opinion on my new pants?

These are them. Pictured above. Continue reading “In Defense of My Pants”

Vanity Rituals

“Did you know that twice a day I take the time to lotion up the ladies- just for you?”
“You probably did that before you met me.”
“That’s not relevant and anyways- since you pledge to love and adore only me for the rest of our lives, even before I knew you I was technically doing it for you. You’ll thank me when we’re gross and old but I still have the knockers of a 20 year old.” Continue reading “Vanity Rituals”

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